Merchandise Spotlight: Power Grills

It also is too short. “If I were going to pay $4,000 for a grill, I’d want more than a half-inch of copy,” notes Ryan.

Moreover, the copy placement could have been improved somewhat; notably, the lead paragraph should have received more prominence.

Says Ryan, “The copy is inaccessible, and even as a seasoned writer, I completely bypassed the lead copy. I just went straight to the headline for the grill and bypassed the lead copy, which actually had the most important selling point, which was the 10-year warranty.”