Speak Personally …

There’s a ton of power to be had from “speaking personally” to a prospect or customer. Writing copy that touches consumers personally connects to those who otherwise might not pay much attention to your catalog or Web site. Writing to them just as you’d speak to them — one on one and as a trusted friend or colleague — breaks down the barrier that often exists between you and all but your most zealous customer.

The fatal flaw of writing impassively or impersonally shows up more dramatically in direct mail than in catalog. With your catalog, you at least have photos to support the sell, even if the copy is mundane. A direct mail letter has no such camouflage. It’s out there by itself, and when it’s bad (which is more frequent these days, particularly with credit card mailings), the package bombs. There’s just no saving it.

Go Beyond ‘You’
Don’t be fooled into thinking that just by adding “you” to your copy it instantly becomes personal. While that certainly helps, it’s not the place to stop trying.

Writing personally only can come from getting inside customers’ heads, talking to them about the things that matter most to them and confirming these things matter to you, too.

An example of this can be found in the Smith+Noble catalog for blinds and drapes we’ve been working on. The catalog copy about wood blinds, which are hardly an inexpensive solution for a window covering, starts out with this:

More than ever, Wood Blinds bring the quality you demand in your home’s fine furniture and wood flooring into window fashion.

The Web site is even less personal:

You’ll find superlative natural Wood Blinds in our diverse collections. Design your custom Wood Blinds in your choice of rich stains, fashion-forward paints, exciting new weathered finishes, even 10 shades of white.

But a more personal solution, instead, is this copy kicking off the “sell”:

Proud of your beautiful woodwork, wood furniture or hardwood floors? S+N Wood Blinds echo their gracious patina — and add the warmth that comes only from polished wood.

The difference at first may not be obvious, but it’s considerable. Here’s how we approached this catalog.

1. We dipped into the psychographics of our audience, which primarily consists of women who care deeply about the ambiance of their homes. They’re willing to spend a good amount of time and money to make sure theirs is a home they can be proud of.

2. We actually verbalized that wish back to them.

3. The last paragraph is about “them,” while the first example is about “us.”

Us vs. Them?
While customers may be looking in your catalog to find solutions to problems (be it finding a new travel dress, the right computer or the best window treatments), make no mistake about it, they’re always more interested in themselves than you. In fact, if you don’t immediately tell them in a meaningful way that you have a viable solution for them to consider, they’re not going to spend another minute with your catalog or Web site.

Some catalogers worry they could be treating customers like they’re stupid when they display enthusiasm and direct customers to exact places in the catalog. But quite the contrary: Customers say they appreciate being treated like they’re important. If the copy is heartfelt and appropriate, it’ll show its sincerity and reflect how you feel about your customers.

Customers also appreciate being told where they can find a cover item or something new and interesting. Often this is the only reason why your customers will open your catalog, particularly if you have a steady product line that hasn’t wavered much over the years.

If your copywriter doesn’t care for your customers all that much, root that out, and either resolve it or choose a different writer for the job. This does happen. When we worked on an entertainment catalog some years ago, it was apparent the writers thought these enthusiasts were over-the-top, and they actually laughed at them behind their backs. This showed through in their copy, which was lifeless and showed no enthusiasm for a TV show/film series that was very meaningful to catalog recipients. How could they write to customers in a personal or meaningful way?

Catalogs often miss the opportunity to use teasers to pull prospects into specific spots in their catalogs. This is a much appreciated technique to help customers find new things in your book. You can make it juicier by speaking to customers as if you were a good friend sharing an exciting, new find.

Here’s an example of some teaser copy I wrote for the cover of the Crazy Shirts catalog:

Once you try on our Canton Pants, you’ll never want to take them off! Find out why on page X.

Because this item is a best-seller for this cataloger of design-embellished T-shirts and surfer wear, if you tell people what makes it special, they’ll be curious to try the pants for themselves. In many cases, such as this one, use friendly copy to tease them in, making it easy for them to find the product.

Teasers work well in both men’s and women’s markets. The consumer electronics cataloger Crutchfield writes teasers such as, Speakers that disappear into your décor.

For another example of cover teaser text, take Eastwood Co., a cataloger for auto-restoration enthusiasts.

Why send your parts out when you can powder coat them at home? We can show you how!

What makes this personal? The copy shows we’ve stepped into customers’ world, discovered their needs and reflected that need in our teaser.

Clarify, But Still Be Personal
As for the complex, the Crutchfield catalog makes complex electronic systems understandable for the average customer. Here’s one example of how Crutchfield does this in a personal way:

In the often confusing new world of competing display technologies, you can still count on advanced design and superior picture quality from Sony’s XBR TVs.

The copy is made personal through its acknowledgement that this is a confusing time to try to sort out the right technology. This approach gains customers’ trust and attention. Few customers in this category would admit they’re confused, so this can be quite a relief to them.

The copy in the ThinkGeek catalog perfectly connects to the catalog’s zany product line, and the language is highly personal. But this cataloger takes a personal and simplistic approach, which is appropriate for this goofy collection of toys, apparel and gadgets. Take the copy for the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock:

This alarm clock will get you up. Its alarm is louder than a jackhammer!

For ThinkGeek’s LED Binary Watch:

Show your geek skills when you read the time in binary.

There’s no talk of what the watch is made of or its size. There’s no legalese to weigh it down. But you can’t get more targeted or personal than that.

Much of this also can work well in B-to-B, an area that rarely uses effective personal copy. The Action Bag Co. catalog has gone from no teasers to such teasers as this: Business cards looking outdated? See our fresh new Stationery ideas on page X.

Carol Worthington-Levy is partner, creative services, for Lenser, a catalog consultancy. You can reach her at (408) 269-6871 or carol.worthington-levy@lenser.com.

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